Is it normal to have a crush on a fictional character?

This search, of course, turned up in the stats from my blog about Richard Grieco. The very first post on that blog was called "It's Perfectly Normal to Have a Crush on a Fictional Character from the 80s." It was about how late one night, when I was sick and up alone watching old television shows, I tripped over this:

The thing is, I was being facetious.

But, when this question showed up in my stats, I started thinking a little more seriously about what "normal" meant in this context. If we apply the technical definition of "normal" and look to see whether it's "the norm," or typical, the answer would appear to be yes.

Prince Zuko

I asked around a little, though my sample may have been skewed. I started with my daughter, who I know to have harbored a long time crush on Prince Zuko. In case you're not familiar with Prince Zuko, he's not only fictional but also a cartoon character.

Initially, she tried to discourage me from mentioning her cartoon character crush, but then she turned to a different approach: diverting me with tales of her friend's crush on this guy, who is apparently sort of a claymation character or something.

Whatever that guy's name is from
How to Train Your Dragon 2

So...maybe not so unusual after all. And my own personal guilty secret is that while the whole Booker thing was just a crush, I am straight up in love with Francisco D'Anconia--it's unlikely that any real man will ever quite measure up to the ideal he created when I was 16 years old.

Does this mean it's normal? Not necessarily. But it surely means that if you're asking this question, you're not alone.

And, if you're thinking about your crush in terms of a fictional character, then I'd guess that you're a good bit closer to the normal end of the spectrum than those (seemingly many) folks who mix the character with the actor, attribute characteristics from the role to the actual person and then deem themselves "in love" with celebrities. I mean, you know the character, right? You may not have met him (because...well...he may not exist), but you know who he is.

So, you know...enjoy. Just don't lose sight of the lines.

Does persistence pay off in love?

Often, the questions I answer on this blog are pretty straightforward, but this isn't one of those times. Right off the bat, it's complicated by definitions: I'm assuming we're talking about romantic love, but is it really love, or something more like obsession or infatuation? The suggestion that persistence might be required in order to sustain a loving relationship has obvious merit. No couple stays "in love" every minute of every day of a long marriage, and often it's only a conscious decision to stick it out, to try to see the other person in the best possible light, to make an effort to adjust and compromise that keeps a relationship alive through those tough times.

And, that's true of non-romantic love, too. Any parent will tell you that there are times when he or she has to bite his tongue to remain loving and positive in the face of a child's temper tantrum or a teen's proclamation that you're ruined her life and she'll hate you for the rest of her life.

But, I suspect that none of this is what that search visitor was looking for. I suspect, instead, that "Does persistence pay off in love?" meant, "If I stick it out long enough, will he/she eventually realize that I am the love of his/her life and live happily ever after with me?"

No.

Every post on this blog is a response to a direct question found in the search statistics for one of my other blogs. This one came from a post about men who won't take no for an answer on Life, Love and Online Dating.