Does persistence pay off in love?

Often, the questions I answer on this blog are pretty straightforward, but this isn't one of those times. Right off the bat, it's complicated by definitions: I'm assuming we're talking about romantic love, but is it really love, or something more like obsession or infatuation? The suggestion that persistence might be required in order to sustain a loving relationship has obvious merit. No couple stays "in love" every minute of every day of a long marriage, and often it's only a conscious decision to stick it out, to try to see the other person in the best possible light, to make an effort to adjust and compromise that keeps a relationship alive through those tough times.

And, that's true of non-romantic love, too. Any parent will tell you that there are times when he or she has to bite his tongue to remain loving and positive in the face of a child's temper tantrum or a teen's proclamation that you're ruined her life and she'll hate you for the rest of her life.

But, I suspect that none of this is what that search visitor was looking for. I suspect, instead, that "Does persistence pay off in love?" meant, "If I stick it out long enough, will he/she eventually realize that I am the love of his/her life and live happily ever after with me?"

No.

Every post on this blog is a response to a direct question found in the search statistics for one of my other blogs. This one came from a post about men who won't take no for an answer on Life, Love and Online Dating.

Why did Macy's kill Marshall Fields?

I'm not sure how to interpret this question: it could mean "Why did Macy's rebrand all of the Marshall Field stores when it bought out the company?" or it could mean, "Why did Macy's turn previously elegant stores with great merchandise, a very old reputation and excellent service into crap?"

Either one is a fair question. The first is a bit hard to answer, given that the response was pretty much universally negative. Chicagoans in particular reacted badly to the rebranding of the flagship State Street store, but either they weren't alone or the impact spread beyond local borders--the issue has arisen again and again at stockholder meetings.

Obviously, rebranding the stores took time and money from the parent company, and there doesn't seem to have been any upside in terms of public response--and that was clear before the actual change got underway. So, turning Marshall Field into Macy's doesn't make a whole lot of sense from an economic or public relations standpoint.

Turning the stores into crap, however, probably makes a lot of financial sense. By filling the shelves with the same merchandise that's being offered all over the country, the chain undoubtedly gets larger discounts on its purchasing. And, since merchandise quality appears to have diminished without any accompanying drop in prices, I'd hazard a guess that profit margins on individual sales are up.

I have to admit that the changes that have taken place in the store itself make me glad (though I was very unhappy when the change was announced) that Macy's decided to rebrand the stores. It was a shame to see Marshall Field die, but it would have been worse to watch it deteriorate. At least this way, it's Macy's that's turned into a seven-story Wal-Mart rather than our beloved Marshall Field.

Each post on the Search Engine Question Pool answers a direct question found in the search statistics for one of my other blogs. This one came from Tiffany Talks

Richard Grieco How He Keeps in Shape?

As you probably guessed, this inquiry came from a non-American, but I think her (or his) meaning is clear. I'm assuming it means something like, "Holy crap.  I just saw Richard Grieco with his shirt off and...dude...the guy is almost 50, you know. Why does he still have the same abs he had on 21 Jump Street?"

Fair question.

If you need some context, click here to see Richard Grieco's abs across two decades.  And, based on this picture that Adrian Paul shared during the filming of AE: Apocalypse Earth earlier this year, the muscles in Grieco's upper legs put his amazing abs to shame.

How does he do it?

I don't know exactly, but here are a few things Richard has mentioned in interviews recently:

• He "has eleven years of Tae Boxing"
• He has, at least at some point, regularly "run the hill"

In addition, Grieco is a serious motorcycle enthusiast, and there's some evidence that riding a motorcycle improves physical health and muscle tone.

In addition to all that, Grieco's artwork isn't of the "sit on a stool and paint on a canvas" variety. He paints on large canvasses on the ground, using a variety of materials and often seems to end up with paint all over his body; all in all, it appears to be a very physical process.

What is This Blog All About?

Sometimes, my search traffic makes me crazy. It's sort of like someone popped his or her head into my office, asked a question, and then was called away before I could answer...and I never saw him again. Sometimes, the questions are inane: I often get variations on "What's wrong with SpongeBob?" I don't actually have the answer to that, though I have been known to identify the odd Bikini Bottom logical dilemma now and then. I also get a fair amount of traffic on questions like, "Where are the bees?" and "What's wrong with the bees?" I can't answer those questions, though sometimes they're entertaining.

I also get search traffic, though, on questions I CAN answer...if only those search stats would leave me a phone number or email address! I know the answer to "how bad is it to get married outside the Catholic church?" and "what is the easiest state to get married in?" I even have a viable theory on "what's wrong with Cinderella?" But I didn't answer those questions on my blogs, and I don't know where to send the response card.

This blog will consist ENTIRELY of posts responsive to the search traffic on my other blogs. I can't promise to answer all the questions, though I will endeavor to answer those that seem to require serious answers. I'll also share some of the crazy ones and open some up to the floor for debate or suggestions. I think it's going to be fun. Educational sometimes, but always fun.

Should a Teen Girl Wear a Push-Up Bra?

As I often do when a question relates to teens or tweens, I asked my 8th grade daughter whether she wanted to weigh in on this one.

Her first reaction was a face that I wish desperately that I could duplicate here. It really did say it all.

But then, as if she sensed that the readers at home wouldn't be able to see her very telling facial expression, she gave voice to her response: "Why would you even have to search that?"

I'm inclined to agree with her, but if you DO think you need to search that, you might want to check out When Tweens Dress Like Tramps.

Do You Have Free Speech on Message Boards?

In a word, no.

For a full explanation of what the Constitutional amendment regarding freedom of speech does and does not protect, read: Freedom of Speech - Let Me Tell You What It's Not

In a nutshell, the 1st Amendment (like the rest of the Bill of Rights) places limitations on governmental action...and governmental action only.

There is a lot of confusion over this issue, and people on message boards often complain that moderators who remove their comments (or even other participants on the message board who simply complain about others' comments) are somehow interfering with their free speech rights. Unless the moderator or other member is acting under color of law, as a representative of some branch of government, that's simply not possible.

With very few limited exceptions, the private owner of a website, blog, forum, etc. can set any limits he or she likes, and delete any comment he or she likes.

Should I Self-Publish Fiction?

Almost certainly not.

Before I elaborate, let me be clear: In the writing world there is a sharp division between those who believe self-publishing is a good idea and those who don't. I fall into the former category. That is, I am a fan of self-publishing, and even have some very profitable experience with it myself.

That said, I think that for nearly everyone, self-publishing fiction is a bad idea.

I discussed some of the reasons that self-publishing fiction doesn't usually work out in this post on my writing blog: Self-Publishing Fiction

There's also some useful information to be had from Moira Allen in this Self-Publishing FAQ. This piece is from 2001, which is roughly a thousand years in self-publishing technology, so some of the specifics here are outdated. However, the general overview of the pros, cons and pitfalls holds up.

Here are a few of the primary concerns in a nutshell:

-It's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to be price-competitive with a self-published fiction book

-Distribution channels are much more limited--some of the major bookstore chains simply won't consider carrying books published through some of the most common presses for "self-published" fiction

-Marketing a book is a full-time job

-Most of the effectively strategies for marketing a self-published book involve expertise or making a "name" in a niche area, conducting relevant workshops and presentations, publishing related articles, etc.--and those techniques apply almost exclusively to non-fiction works

Just a few key things to think about; there are definitely more.