This one, of course, came from my RockStories writing blog and landed to my post explaining why I couldn't answer the question, "What the best book you've ever read?" I'm not sure whether the question is about why we generally remember books or what makes a particular book memorable, but I'm partial to the second interpretation--so partial that I've been looking forward to answering this question since I first noticed it in my search results more than a week ago.
Before I do, though, I have to say that the answer is undoubtedly different for everyone. I've been bored to tears by books that I know have a lot of objective merit (Tolkein, anyone?) and know that some very discerning readers just can't see what keeps me going back to re-read The Sun Also Rises every couple of years. Reasonable opinions may vary.
For me, though, the thing that makes a book significant is that it brings something to my attention that I hadn't thought about before. Usually that's not a revolutionary change, a kind of "Wow, I've been looking at this all wrong!" kind of epiphany, but a matter of being consciously confronted with something that is obviously true once it's been placed before us, but that we hadn't ever acknowledged before--or perhaps consciously noticed at all.
Recently, for instance, I was reading Jon Hassler's North of Hope, and I ran across a passage in which the housekeeper in a rectory suggests that an aging priest has lost his mind because he claims to have seen an angel. "Don't you believe in angels?" another priest asks her. She says that she does, but that believing in them and seeing them are two different things, and that's what sets Christians apart from lunatics.
When I read that passage, I laughed out loud, as I often do when surprised by obvious truth. Isn't that the common view, though it's not always spoken aloud (or perhaps even understood in so many words)? Isn't the world full of people who believe in angels, but would never in a million years believe that you'd seen one? And did you ever really think about the fact that they were the same people, until you read these words? I didn't, until I read Hassler's words.
The great thing is that these revelations can come from anywhere, be found in any kind of book, and don't require great literary prowess or National Book Awards. And once we've tripped over one, our thinking never quite snaps back to exactly where it was before. That, I think, is what makes a book memorable--one's just reading along, carefree as can be, and BOOM: for the rest of your life you know something, or see something, that you didn't know or see before.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
My old dog won't eat; is she dying?
This isn't mine. I stole this search term from a friend, whose blog is largely focused on parenting and knitting (Google--could we have a word about your discernment process?) As she so aptly pointed out, a dog who doesn't eat WILL die, even if the loss of appetite wasn't a symptom of impending death. Thus, it's not something to be ignored.
She also pointed out that when her old dog wouldn't eat, the vet suggested that she change up her diet a bit, and lo and behold--home cooked meals did the trick. But loss of appetite can also indicate serious medical issues, and your vet is really the best source of information about this.
That said, I want to add a word about searching the Internet. Even if the Internet was the best source of this information, this search string was doomed to fail. Remember, Google returns search results in large part based on a match-up of the words you typed into the search box with the words on the page it returns (excluding "stop words" like "the"). It's common for people searching for information on the web to type in questions like the one above, but it's generally not very effective: if you were writing a veterinary information site, would you write "my old dog won't eat, is she dying?" on the page? Probably not--unless you were a savvy search engine marketer.
Thus, the question above turns up a knitting / parenting blog where the author has talked a bit about her concerns about her old dog, while a search for: dog symptoms loss of appetite turns up pages of veterinary information about various medical conditions that can cause dogs to lose their appetites, warning signs, and what you should do. In short, when you're looking for information on the Internet, don't type in the question you want answered--type in the key words you'd expect to find in the answer, or that you'd put in a heading if you were writing the answer.
She also pointed out that when her old dog wouldn't eat, the vet suggested that she change up her diet a bit, and lo and behold--home cooked meals did the trick. But loss of appetite can also indicate serious medical issues, and your vet is really the best source of information about this.
That said, I want to add a word about searching the Internet. Even if the Internet was the best source of this information, this search string was doomed to fail. Remember, Google returns search results in large part based on a match-up of the words you typed into the search box with the words on the page it returns (excluding "stop words" like "the"). It's common for people searching for information on the web to type in questions like the one above, but it's generally not very effective: if you were writing a veterinary information site, would you write "my old dog won't eat, is she dying?" on the page? Probably not--unless you were a savvy search engine marketer.
Thus, the question above turns up a knitting / parenting blog where the author has talked a bit about her concerns about her old dog, while a search for: dog symptoms loss of appetite turns up pages of veterinary information about various medical conditions that can cause dogs to lose their appetites, warning signs, and what you should do. In short, when you're looking for information on the Internet, don't type in the question you want answered--type in the key words you'd expect to find in the answer, or that you'd put in a heading if you were writing the answer.
Is it better to be Catholic or get a divorce?
I'm not sure that I understand this question, because they're not mutually exclusive. The Bible says that anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery, and so one can't be a fully practicing Catholic if one has divorced and remarried without receiving a declaration of nullity from the church. But the simple act of getting a divorce, while discouraged, isn't a bar to practicing Catholism--to oversimplify a bit, it's simply disregarded. A civil divorce doesn't impact your obligations based on the vows you took before God, so in the eyes of the church, you're still married.
If I Died, Who Would Care?
My first inclination was to say that no one could hope to find the answer to this question through a search engine, because the answer was unique and personal for every one of us. But even as I set out to write that, I realized that it wasn't entirely true; I think that the fundamental answer is the same for each and every one of us.
Here it is: You'd be surprised.
It's pretty easy, in day-to-day life, to take the people around us for granted. It's also easy to give the impression of taking them for granted even when we don't, or to assume that people know the small differences they make in our lives even when we don't mention them--or that they have plenty of other, closer people to affirm them and don't really need to hear from us. It might even be a little intrusive.
But all those people who aren't saying anything for whatever myriad reasons make sense are still there. Friends you haven't talked to in months, or maybe even years, but who know you're out there and value that even if time and life carry them in different directions; the customer who comes into your store three days a week and counts on the extra moment or two you take to chat with her because she's alone most of the time; the person yet unmet whose life you might change entirely.
Someone. That's the answer. It might be someone you overlook, someone you never thought of, someone you've forgotten, someone you don't yet know well. But if you died, it would change someone's life, and not for the better.
Here it is: You'd be surprised.
It's pretty easy, in day-to-day life, to take the people around us for granted. It's also easy to give the impression of taking them for granted even when we don't, or to assume that people know the small differences they make in our lives even when we don't mention them--or that they have plenty of other, closer people to affirm them and don't really need to hear from us. It might even be a little intrusive.
But all those people who aren't saying anything for whatever myriad reasons make sense are still there. Friends you haven't talked to in months, or maybe even years, but who know you're out there and value that even if time and life carry them in different directions; the customer who comes into your store three days a week and counts on the extra moment or two you take to chat with her because she's alone most of the time; the person yet unmet whose life you might change entirely.
Someone. That's the answer. It might be someone you overlook, someone you never thought of, someone you've forgotten, someone you don't yet know well. But if you died, it would change someone's life, and not for the better.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
What's the Side Affects [sic] of Putting the Condom on Wrong and Still Having Sex?
Pregnancy.
Oh, and STDs. Possibly AIDS.
Or maybe none of those things. It's a gamble, just like unprotected sex.
Oh, and STDs. Possibly AIDS.
Or maybe none of those things. It's a gamble, just like unprotected sex.
Friday, November 2, 2007
10 Year Old Boy Keeps Having Headaches, What's Wrong?
I don't know.
Neither does Google.
Take this child to the doctor, please.
Neither does Google.
Take this child to the doctor, please.
Can You Rape a Prostitute?
Yes, but you shouldn't.
This is a reasonable question in the view of the fact that a judge in Pennsylvania recently ruled that raping (oops, sorry, forcing a prostitute to perform sex acts at gunpoint) was mere theft of services. Armed robbery, if you will.
In truth, what's the argument? That prostitutes regularly consent to sex, so they're deemed ALWAYS to have consented, in all circumstances?
That's a pretty slippery slope, don't you think?
This is a reasonable question in the view of the fact that a judge in Pennsylvania recently ruled that raping (oops, sorry, forcing a prostitute to perform sex acts at gunpoint) was mere theft of services. Armed robbery, if you will.
In truth, what's the argument? That prostitutes regularly consent to sex, so they're deemed ALWAYS to have consented, in all circumstances?
That's a pretty slippery slope, don't you think?
Thursday, November 1, 2007
How Long Have Smarties Candies Been Around?
Wow.
You have no idea what kind of can of worms you've opened with this one.
The answer is....
IT DEPENDS.
You see, "Smarties" is actually the name attached to two very different candies, and feelings run strong about each.
The real Smarties are disc shaped, concave, and pastel. They come in clear cellophane rolls. The company that makes real Smarties was founded in 1932 and came to American in 1949.
Fake Smarties were introduced by Rowntree in 1937 and acquired by Nestle about fifteen years ago. They are chocolate, and bear a very close resemblance to M & Ms, except that they do not have "M" printed on them. In Canada, where the fake Smarties are considered the real Smarties, real Smarties are called Rockets.
Please note that the classification of Smarties in this post has been entirely objective.
You have no idea what kind of can of worms you've opened with this one.
The answer is....
IT DEPENDS.
You see, "Smarties" is actually the name attached to two very different candies, and feelings run strong about each.
The real Smarties are disc shaped, concave, and pastel. They come in clear cellophane rolls. The company that makes real Smarties was founded in 1932 and came to American in 1949.
Fake Smarties were introduced by Rowntree in 1937 and acquired by Nestle about fifteen years ago. They are chocolate, and bear a very close resemblance to M & Ms, except that they do not have "M" printed on them. In Canada, where the fake Smarties are considered the real Smarties, real Smarties are called Rockets.
Please note that the classification of Smarties in this post has been entirely objective.
5000 Words is How Many Pages?
There's some variance, of course, based on font, spacing and margins. However, the typical double-spaced page with one-inch margins will contain between 250 and 300 words. So, 5,000 words is approximately 20 double-spaced pages.
Looking for more writing, editing, freelancing and publishing information? Visit my writing blog.
Looking for more writing, editing, freelancing and publishing information? Visit my writing blog.
Is Ann Coulter a Transvestite?
Okay, I have to cop to the fact that I know exactly what caused this search string to land a visitor to my blog today. It was my post from last March entitled "Ann Coulter...What the Hell?" In that post, I suggested than Ann Coulter LOOKED like a transvestite. It wasn't by any means the focus of the post, and given that there must be hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of other people who have noticed that Ann Coulter looks like a transvestite, it does surprise me a bit that my 7-month-old post with only one paragraph about Ann Coulter's looks is still coming up on the second page of search results...but there it is. At least I know how in the heck this one happened.
The thing is, I don't know the answer.
I suspect that Ann Coulter is NOT a transvestite, and is instead merely an unfortunate looking woman. The potential poetic irony is tempting, I'll admit--and I have to think it wasn't an Ann Coulter supporter running this search--but I think it's a red herring. Or at least, last week I would have thought it was a red herring--this week I learned that no one knows what red herring means and we're not supposed to use that phrase anymore.
Whatever we want to call it, here's the point: Ann Coulter doesn't use logic. She doesn't make sense. She defies reason. That said, it doesn't make a lick of difference whether she's a woman who just happens to look like a man, a man trying to look like a woman, or a monkey trying to look like a human. As a political commentator, she's a wash. Stop worrying about what's under her clothes--what's coming out of her mouth is really all the ammo you need.
The thing is, I don't know the answer.
I suspect that Ann Coulter is NOT a transvestite, and is instead merely an unfortunate looking woman. The potential poetic irony is tempting, I'll admit--and I have to think it wasn't an Ann Coulter supporter running this search--but I think it's a red herring. Or at least, last week I would have thought it was a red herring--this week I learned that no one knows what red herring means and we're not supposed to use that phrase anymore.
Whatever we want to call it, here's the point: Ann Coulter doesn't use logic. She doesn't make sense. She defies reason. That said, it doesn't make a lick of difference whether she's a woman who just happens to look like a man, a man trying to look like a woman, or a monkey trying to look like a human. As a political commentator, she's a wash. Stop worrying about what's under her clothes--what's coming out of her mouth is really all the ammo you need.
How Bad is it To Get Married Outside the Catholic Church?
I'm going to assume that the person conducting this church was either Catholic or considering marrying a Catholic. Otherwise, the answer is quick and easy--it's not bad at all! No worries!
The thing that really intrigued me about this search was that it didn't land the visitor to my Catholic Blog, which gets a lot of traffic on Catholic marriage and Catholic divorce related strings. No, this one led to What's Wrong Around Us?, where there is exactly one post referencing the fact that a lot of Catholics get married outside the church because they don't want to jump through the hoops. That single post--from last March--is buried among rape cases, punitive damages issues, speculation about why the bees are disappearing, a few objections to the world of SpongeBob Squarepants, a note about buying on ebay, and a very popular post on birth control for middle schoolers. (Note to Google: This process may need a little refining.)
But I digress.
"How bad is it to get married outside the Catholic church?"
If you care enough to ask this question, it's about as bad as it gets. If you've been baptized Catholic and are married outside the church without permission, the marriage is invalid in the eyes of the church. Living with your spouse in an invalid marriage has the same ramifications as living with someone OUTSIDE of marriage. You can't make a good confession as long as the situation continues and you haven't resolved to change it. You can't take communion.
If a technicality is the only problem--that is, if you just CHOSE to get married outside the church or did it in a hurry and there was no reason that you couldn't have been married within the church, you can probably get your marriage "regularized" and blessed by the church--talk to your priest. If there was an impediment to the marriage, like a prior marriage of one of the spouses, that will have to be resolved before the marriage can be recognized.
The thing that really intrigued me about this search was that it didn't land the visitor to my Catholic Blog, which gets a lot of traffic on Catholic marriage and Catholic divorce related strings. No, this one led to What's Wrong Around Us?, where there is exactly one post referencing the fact that a lot of Catholics get married outside the church because they don't want to jump through the hoops. That single post--from last March--is buried among rape cases, punitive damages issues, speculation about why the bees are disappearing, a few objections to the world of SpongeBob Squarepants, a note about buying on ebay, and a very popular post on birth control for middle schoolers. (Note to Google: This process may need a little refining.)
But I digress.
"How bad is it to get married outside the Catholic church?"
If you care enough to ask this question, it's about as bad as it gets. If you've been baptized Catholic and are married outside the church without permission, the marriage is invalid in the eyes of the church. Living with your spouse in an invalid marriage has the same ramifications as living with someone OUTSIDE of marriage. You can't make a good confession as long as the situation continues and you haven't resolved to change it. You can't take communion.
If a technicality is the only problem--that is, if you just CHOSE to get married outside the church or did it in a hurry and there was no reason that you couldn't have been married within the church, you can probably get your marriage "regularized" and blessed by the church--talk to your priest. If there was an impediment to the marriage, like a prior marriage of one of the spouses, that will have to be resolved before the marriage can be recognized.
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