Friday, August 22, 2008

Which Amendment Tells About Freedom of Speech?

That would be the 1st Amendment, which is also the amendment that covers freedom of religion and freedom of assembly. It's packed with protections, for such a brief little provision.

I've previously discussed the right to free speech in another post, so I won't go into a lot of detail here. However, here is the full text of the 1st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

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What Do Spongebob's Nuts Look Like?

I must admit, I almost didn't answer this one.

It wasn't just that I was a little afraid of the person who might be seeking such information, though that was certainly a factor.

Mostly, though, I was just afraid that I'd...you know...find out the answer.

I've never really thought of Spongebob that way.

I couldn't bring myself to look.

Fortunately, I have an unofficial research assistant in the form of humor writer Barb Cooper. Barb's married, so she wasn't afraid to look.

She got right back to me with good news: He doesn't have any.

I'm not 100% confident, though. After all, THIS sponge doesn't have eyes, either. Or arms. Or feet. Or a nose. I guess anything is possible.


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Sunday, August 17, 2008

What Do Tweens Like?

This is obviously a trick question. First, what any given tween likes will differ radically from what another tween likes, despite apparent similarities in age, interest and background. Except, of course, with regard to the Jonas Brothers
. That's pretty consistent.

Beyond that, what one specific tween likes will vary wildly from one moment to the next, without notice. As parents, we are expected to discern these internal and unspoken changes and adapt on the fly, so that we don't inadvertantly suggest a CD or television show that, while cherished at 11:02 a.m., is totally embarrassing at 11:13. Except, of course, with regard to the Jonas Brothers. They're pretty consistent.

There is one area (besides the Jonas Brothers) in which we can safely predict what a tween will like: anything we think is too old or inappropriate for her. This includes R-rated movies, particularly those of the gruesome horror variety or the extremely risque ones. Note that it makes little difference whether your tween actually enjoys such movies, or even whether she'll be sitting up all night staring at the shadows on the wall and wishing she still had her teddy bear in bed with her--whatever carries the teenage aura is coveted, no matter what she's really interested in deep down in her heart and mind.

The same goes for trashy clothing. No matter that it's uncomfortable and often unflattering. It's a Sign of Growing Up.

Good news, though. The tween phase doesn't last, and the one upside to the acceleration of all these teen-angst issues is that they're out of the way sooner, too.


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